The move

In this Pitch Unfairly rebuild, the detection slide reads "We detected the failure in 27 seconds. The odd reading came nine hours sooner." A chart marks the gauge pegging off-scale at 46:40:02 and the bang at 55:54:53. Four tiles: Time to detect 27 s, Time to diagnose 1.5 h, Time to mitigate 2h 45m, Anomaly age 9h 15m.

Why it works

• Our readThe fourth tile, Anomaly age, is the uncomfortable one and the only tile with an orange rule, so the candor is hard to miss.
• Our readA four-row table (What happened, Impact, Root cause, Resolution) follows the cover, so the whole story is set out before the timeline starts.

What not to copy

The spacecraft, the times and the numbers belong to the story. Keep the table-first summary and the habit of charting the metric that makes you look worse.