The move

The page opens with "Get the right butts in Ferrow's seats." and four figures: 80 roles, 6 recruiters, 13 roles per recruiter, 1,000 applications a month. "About 24 hours back every week" sits beside sliders, and "Start on three agents" lists $1,800, $720 and a Quote line, with "$2,520" a month for the first two plus the quote.

Why it works

• Our readLeading with the buyer's hiring-plan figures makes the proposal about their situation before it describes the product.
• Our readThe calculator shows its inputs (6 recruiters, $60 an hour) and offers "The assumptions", so the saving can be adjusted rather than trusted.
• Our readPricing is labelled "Published prices where they fit, a quote where your volume doesn't", and one line is marked "Quote" instead of guessed.

What not to copy

Ferrow and its numbers are invented for this sample. Keep the buyer-numbers strip, the adjustable calculator and the honest quote line, using only figures the buyer gave you.